apocalypse now??

Posted on August 30, 2010 by london bridges.
Categories: Uncategorized.

I think one of the greatest nagging fears of every Christian has to be the end of the world. Ever since Jesus left the earth, Christians have been trying to rush him back with a passionate fervor. I’m currently looking at a webpage called “220 Dates for The End of the World.” From what I’m seeing, people have been hailing in the end times from 44 A.D. all the way to the current 2010 A.D…and every time we predicted it, we’ve been wrong. I believe the biblical scripture, “no man shall know the day nor the hour that the son of man shall come…” just as much as any Christian, but I will bet my left front tooth that that day is NOT December 21, 2012. Sure, a common thread of many Christians is that we’ve all dreaded the day of the rapture since our childhoods. Not because we didn’t believe we’d be taken, but because, in that moment, we lose our humanity. We become totally spiritually oriented from that point forward. Earthly interests disintegrate. We all succumb to the larger context that surrounds us. The impending battle of Armageddon. I feel like fearing that moment is the most human emotion there is. Even more human than love, because in that moment, the moment of the rapture, as selfish as it sounds, the universe according to us ceases to revolve around us. It is the most solemn moment that will ever be for humanity. It’s when everything becomes real. Living in a real-life horror movie. Facing the unveiled namesakes of our nightmares and watching the entire universe succumb to a script recited so many times in thoughts, so many nights in dreams, so many ways in emotions. I think almost every Christian today can sit and reel through the caverns of his or her mind and fall back into remembrance of that dream. The dream that we’ve all secretly had. The one that constantly haunts our subconscious mind and makes us wonder every morning if ‘today is the day.’ I would venture to say that that same dream has been floating through the minds of believers since 44 A.D. It’s the force that causes us all to believe that we are living in the end times. I believe that one of the causes of our obsession is the fact that we actually desire the arrival of this cataclysm. We secretly enjoy the adrenaline rush of this epic disaster scene. Add that to the belief of most that Christians will be spared from enduring these sorrows and it all becomes clear. We get to lay safely on celestial cloud smack dab in the middle of the greatest atrocities mankind has ever seen and we don’t have to suffer at all?? Who wouldn’t want to speed the storyline? It’s basically like going to the gladiatorial arena. We aren’t gonna be chased by lions. No one’s out to get us. We get to sit in the stands. Of course we’re excited to go! But as for me…somehow, someway, I just don’t think it all will be that easy. There’s gonna be a catch. There always is…

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rockstar complex

Posted on by london bridges.
Categories: Uncategorized.

So, today, I kinda feel amazing. It’s crazy, I mean, my entire self esteem has inexplicably skyrocketed since starting college–maybe it’s the excessive male attention, but I’ve always had that…oh, excuse me, it’s the HOT male attention :). Actually, I think all of that is more of an effect than a cause of my mad self love affair. I also had my first full body massage today, which I must say, was mind-blowing, and to be honest, I’ve been all kinds of loopy ever since I left the massage studio. I’ve been eating multicolored twizzlers and totally chilling like a mother effing villain all day long. 🙂 Anywho, I just feel pretty much invincible right now. I’m cranking up my ipod to Drake’s song “Fancy” and sitting in the dorm room. I just feel amazing. I’ve always felt like a rockstar inside, but I felt like my awesomeness didnt translate to other people like it should have. Now, it’s not only palpable that I’m incredible; it’s visible, tangible, it’s sensed, not intuited. I think that’s all I really ever wanted. I just wanted everyone to get it. Some people–actually, a lot of people already did, but I’m that kind of person who ignores the fact that hundreds of people love them and obsesses over that one who seems oblivious or averse to me and I become compelled to win them over. It’s sort of an annoying compulsion, but I need to not only be liked, but loved by everyone. It creates problems sometimes, because even though I feel innately special and need to be liked, I’m not a doormat. I’m really forceful sometimes when it comes to getting what I want, and sometimes that ruthlessness rubs people the wrong way and they become offended. Actually, what I’ve found, is that, with a lot of people, is that if you don’t consistently bend to their will, they become offended. This force of will sometimes causes people to dislike me–also the fact that I often don’t mince words doesn’t help. My sharp tongue gets me in hot water as well from time to time. I’m sworn to only use it for good. I’m usually verbally assassinating people because of some political or social freedom that I perceive them to be abusing. I’m not some crazy douchebag. I’m actually ridiculously nice. I just have a low bullshit tolerance…and a rockstar complex.

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